Prep day part 1. Before the Jim Jones Kool Aid:

In discussing colonoscopic evaluations with other people, I get asked ‘Is this your first?’, like it’s a baby.

Me: ‘yes, it is. I decided to wait later in life to start having mine, so that I was more mature to handle it’.

Deep in the back of my bathroom lavatory, I stood on my head and dug around and finally excavated my instructions for today ; prep day.  Clearly, I had pushed those back underneath shaving supplies and various bathroom needs, in an effort to suppress this day.

I truly wanted to approach this clear liquid and prep day with an open mind and willing soul. But two of the most important things in my life have been taken from me: food and sleep.

I wanted to make lemonade out of lemons, you know? But listen here, there is no way that you can make a cheeseburger out of chicken broth and jello. You can’t even make a bun out of those 2 guys.

But I do love the broth and the jello. We 3 have sort of bonded through this near-starvation ordeal today. One can make good friends out of the most unexpected acquaintances sometimes. I had seen them both around and actually had always had a thing for jello, with all of it’s sexy wigglyness going on. It had a quiet appeal to me.

And chicken broth was only savored on holidays for dressings and such broth was purely seasonal celebratory in my mind.

But this day, chicken broth sustains me. So, here’s a salute to my new bffs; chicken broth and green jello. I love you both.

But, what I need about now is for Sally Struthers to do a commercial for me.

 

Prep day part 2. After the Jim Jones Kool Aid: 

Again, I truly wanted to approach this clear liquid and prep day with an open mind and willing soul.   

It’s 230 am and I sound like an espresso machine.