Lately I have listened to many women, personally, talk about how the current cavalcade of females are coming out and exposing public male figures for something they did decades ago. I’ve also heard them say about how they, as women, don’t even trust these other women making the claims.
But the biggest majority of the ladies that I know are questioning WHY did they wait so long to report these crimes. Some are saying they’re doing it now because they can claim to be a ‘victim’ and be on TV to gain attention and money. Some women around me have even wondered what the ‘other side’ of that story is.
So these speculations, from women I’ve heard, started me to thinking more about these claims filed years post-incident.
And a very important fact occurred: if we make the choice to not report when bad things happen to us, think of all of the damage that WE could be allowing to be inflicted upon other innocent people.
Shouldn’t we all be adult enough to be part of the solution and not enable the problem?
These women were absolutely and certainly victims, no doubt. Well, at least the ones that I have had plastered all over my screens 24-7 for the past several years.
Some people will argue that some of these women ‘were scared to lose their jobs’. Sure. I get that. I also get that some adults are inclined to ‘keep things’ to themselves in order to just spread em out on the table one day years later and have themselves a repeated public breakdown when needed. And later declare how they were wronged decades ago and all of a sudden they realize that they were a victim.
Another issue could be that some of these women don’t ‘feel comfortable’ talking about this. Absolutely. In 2017, it’s highly doubtful that a woman carrying a pink Ruger in her Coach bag is going to get harassed.
But people that are not that strong of a person have people available that can help them report. Just because it’s not fair and a person has a more reserved personality type doesn’t mean they should not report something dangerous that has happened to them.
In medicine, we are obligated to take care of other human beings. We are required to report when we think that someone has endangered patient safety. If something happens to a patient and we are aware of the person that caused that damage, and we don’t report it asap, we are responsible for the damage the other person inflicts.
Am I a woman? No, I’m not. But I’ve been in many precarious situations in my life that have had to be reported and were; whether I liked it or not. Was it uncomfortable? Certainly it was. I didn’t report them for my personal benefit. I reported them for the safety of other humans. If we don’t take care of each other in this world, who will?
Sexual harassment is dangerous and damaging in many ways. And it happens to both females and males. There is an incorrect perception that only females are victims. It should not be tolerated in either gender. Or, by not reporting and acting on sexual harassment as soon as it happens, this crime will be like a bad stomach virus and continue to spread itself; unchecked.
FYI, it’s hard to validate a complaint that you’ve been violated by a man’s hand brushing your bare skin on your back if you wear an open back top and come to him crying and needing consoling and as he hugs you his hand goes on your back….10 years ago. Then he loses his job because you were crying on his shoulder.
When I ran this writing by a good, trusted and respected female friend, I received this reply:
You are right on. Personally, If you are above 40, EVERYONE has a time they can remember a locker room joke, a grab, etc. Hell, we all could be on tv with an “incident”.
And women have done it to men…a playful grab, etc. Our world is insulted by every and anything. We need a clearer definition of sexual harassment.
Abuse is not harassment.
As adults, the responsibilities are for BOTH parties; not just the pervy and sick perps creeping around.
So finally, good people, if another adult sends you a sex toy in a box that you don’t want, take the thing out and beat the nasty gifter in the head with the boudoir knick-knack, REPORT THE PERV and know that you’ve shut them down from you and protected other people as well.
That’s the best that I can tell about it