Having been married for nearly 37 years, our living rooms have gone through several different scenarios.

When we were first married, we cooked a frozen pizza and ate together on the sofa watching Michael Jackson’s newest music video. It was good times and we were young and needed to just touch each other all the time so we enjoyed the couch together.

Then when we had kids, we decided to be decent people and to show our offspring how they’re supposed to act when they grow up. So we all sat at the table, all proper-like and ate. We said the prayer and all that and raised our younguns up the best we knew. And they’ve done well. But I don’t think it’s because we made them eat at the table with us. They mostly get that ‘growing up righteously’ from their mama.

I’m the one that loves Jesus but cusses a little.

Now that the kids are gone (mostly), we’ve migrated back to the living room to eat. We still eat frozen pizza and watch TV but now we watch Bluebloods.  But now we sit farther apart and need to be comfortable. We’re going for comfort for our aging joints now more than we need to touch each other all the time while we eat pizza and watch TV.

But when the kids and perfect little granddaughter come over, we act all proper and decent again and sit at the big table together in the sunroom. Since we all work in medicine, we usually all end up talking about medicine. And I swear to Bob, every time, someone brings up poop. So there we are all grown, multiplied and proper at the big table and talking about poop. I tell people we’re the ‘Redbloods’ family.

But recently our seating has changed in the living room for the wife and I. It’s like we’ve changed pews in church for some reason. Well, she started it all when she had to have this upholstered rocking chair to replace my big chair. She got it at a good deal and there is plenty of room for her and the dog to corroborate in. But it don’t set right for me. Plus the dog wants to sit in that chair and beg for food like she’s not eaten in a month and having to eat at RIFA.

So, I began to find myself a new pew. I’m satisfied with my new spot. I tried a couple of places and one was ok, but none had the ambiance and feng shui that I was looking for.

I located a nice cozy spot at the end of the sofa far enough away from the TV so now I can see it better.  And I also can see out the big front picture window in case someone pulls up. Plus I get a clear view of the carpenter bee trap on the front porch. That just brings a great satisfaction in my heart to see it fill up with dead house-wood-eating insects.

But the best part of my new living room corner couch seat is the surround sound speaker that sits right behind my large head. I may not hear them yelling at me across the room that supper is on the big table but the sounds are so loud and life-like around my head now in my new pew. A couple of times I nearly pee’d myself sitting there eating frozen pepperoni pizza because of those loud crickets in Ozark that always seem to start up whenever someone is about to get shot or electrocuted.  Loud crickets always mean someone is about to die. 

The dog still comes over in my new spot for a handout but I send her back to my wife who is much more righteous than I am about giving up my pizza to a housedog that looks like a brown and white marshmallow on 4 toothpicks.

I’ve even bought myself a new fancy eatin table for my new spot to eat my pepperoni pizza off of while I get the pee scared out of me. My wife said my Tablemate II looked cheesy. I tried to reassure her that it was a II model and not a I model so the II model had more style and decorum to it. She never really accepted that argument.

So, it’s important that we find our pizza-eatin spot in our homes! And always have a backup spot because you never know how life may change and you need to change your view,

and your pew.

That’s the best that I can tell about it,

~Mark